- Vasectomy? - Yeah, that's the one.
I've got two kids. Don't need any more.
Wasn't Di keen to start a family?
Well, maybe but... I'm not.
Time for your induction.
I found a letter in Natalie's washbag from Fenner.
Full of filthy stuff.
She hit me! Did you see that? She hit me.
I'll get you a licence for temporary release.
Be our way of saying sorry.
What do you think?
Very nice.
Well, this weekend out, I'd like you to be on escort duty.
You don't get to make the conditions here.
Well, either I do
or I get my solicitor to press charges.
Sylvia, will you marry me?
Oh!
The savage murder of disabled 52-year-old Elizabeth Canning has caused outrage,
not just in the local community but throughout the country.
As you can see, an angry crowd has gathered here
waiting for the arrival of her 1 8-year-old daughter,
who's being brought to Larkhall Prison on remand,
awaiting trial for murder.
(HORN BLARING)
Oh, Sylvia, that's beautiful.
It shows there must be something in catching the bride's bouquet.
And I felt so foolish at the time.
Oh, but it's really good to see you back, Di.
I don't know what Jim was thinking of, suspending you.
'Cause we can't go around assaulting prisoners, that's why.
And Di, you're late.
A slap is what more of them out there could do with. I thought you knew that.
Or have things changed now you're wing governor?
Lastly, we've got a bit of a celebrity in on remand.
- Laura Canning. - The girl off the news?
Oh, Lord! 27 times she stabbed her own mother.
I've had a visit from the police. Canning's sister is still missing.
Chances are she's gone the same way of her mum.
But Canning's keeping it zipped as to where she's left her.
So the cops have asked us to keep an ear out as to anything she might say.
Typical day at the office, then.
Welcoming another vicious psychopath to join us.
Yeah, vicious is the word, Sylv.
So watch your backs, everybody.
Now's your chance to apologise to Buxton.
She can stuff it!
That was the deal for dropping the complaints, Di.
If you don't, she'll dump you in the shit.
And who's gonna want a PO with a criminal record?
Can I have a word?
Mrs Fenner. It's nice to see you back.
It was wrong to hit you last week. I'm sorry.
Bloody right it was.
Still, Mr Fenner's going to be taking me out for the weekend because of it
so maybe I should be saying thank you.
(CROWD WHISTLING)
Go careful, Buxton.
Next time you step an inch out of line, I'll have you like a bloody shark.
Best of luck.
Age?
18.
Religion?
Christian.
Hm.
Next of kin?
Dispatched them all, have you?
Right. Possessions.
What have you got there? Hand it over.
Jim was right.
Give this one half a chance and we'll all be culled.
Have a butcher's at this.
Shit.
This your sister, Laura? The picture?
- Jim. - Malcolm.
Di glad to be back on duty, is she?
Over the moon, why?
You didn't tell her about this procedure this evening, did you?
What's that got to do with you?
Oh, nothing, strictly speaking. Only...
having a vasectomy not telling the wife's hardly the ideal way to start a marriage...
Well, marrying someone just to get your hands on their inheritance
isn't exactly Barbara Cartland, is it?
- Only winding you up. - Yeah.
A lot of men feel quite nervous when the family jewels go under the knife.
Well, can you blame them?
Don't worry, Jim.
20 minutes, be all over.
What about after?
Oh, nothing a couple of paracetamol won't sort out.
SYLVIA: Turn to your right.
Now your left.
Right. That's done with the happy snaps.
Time to get you looked at by the doctor.
There you are. What do you think?
Yeah, it's great.
Another satisfied customer.
Here, this time next year, Ju, we could open a chain.
Yeah. We could call it Highlights For Lowlifes.
Oh, yeah. I noticed you had a bit of a shadow on your top lip.
Yeah, I've always had a bit of a problem.
- A lot of Asian women do, though, don't they? - Yeah, it's nothing to worry about, love.
We all gotta get rid of a bit of unwanted hair every now and then, don't we?
We could sort it out for you, if you want? No problem.
- Thank you. - Well, don't worry.
We're always ready to step in for them's not lucky enough to be born blonde.
I want my hair done.
Well, you have to make an appointment. We're fully booked.
I have made an appointment, haven't I, Darlene?
You hear what she say? She book in already.
Well, I suppose we can fit you in.
What was it you were thinking of, Natalie?
Well, I definitely need my roots doing and maybe a trim.
Well, that'll be three quid. Two for the colour, one for the cut.
Yeah, right.
Fenner set the prices.
If you don't like 'em, I suggest you take it up with him.
I can handle Fenner.
Now, Darlene's gonna be watching.
And if it's not perfect,
we make sure both of you look like one of them chemo patient.
Is that supposed to be funny?
Leave it, Ju.
Miss Canning, 18 years old, murdered your mother...
Oh, and your sister, too. Drug-induced attack, was it?
I asked you, do you take drugs? Crack, heroin, marijuana?
- No. - No.
And do you take any prescription drugs?
I've been on tablets for depression since I was 12.
That goes with the territory.
And this depression, has it caused any thoughts of suicide?
Have you ever tried to take your own life?
- No. - No.
No. Easier to take those of other people.
Is that what you call a diagnosis?
It seems obvious to me.
Put her on a 2052, open suicide watch.
I don't think I need to concern myself any further.
You don't think she needs specialist care?
Ball and chain is what she needs, not the psychiatrist's chair.
Bad, not mad.
- Well? - It looks lovely, Nat.
Yeah, well, it's worth a quid.
No. We said it was three quid.
If she says £1, it's £1 you get, all right?
Yeah, all right.
Well done, ladies.
We should've seen that one coming.
Yeah, but what can you do?
And for your next pound, you can do mine.
- What? - What?
I want to go blonde like Natalie.
You are joking, aren't you?
We can't do your hair.
Why not?
Because we don't know how to do black hair.
How you mean you can't do black hair? You're discriminating.
No, we're just ignorant of it, Darlene.
Hair's a funny thing, you know, there's different types, different strengths.
My hair is super strong, man.
No, it's not as simple as that.
Listen to me, girl.
You do me hair good and blonde or else you know what gonna happen to you.
I tell you what, why don't me and Ju go and look it up in the library first?
- Then we'll know what we're doing. - Will we?
Course we will. We're professionals, after all.
I'll wait, then. But it better be worth it.
And it's only a pound you get.
Oh, it'll be worth it, all right. We'll see who gets the chemo treatment.
Jim.
I thought we said no more booze?
Oh, it's just a bit of Dutch courage.
You don't want to be pissed when you're talking to the psychiatrist.
Don't wanna be sober, either.
Well, there's no need to be nervous. I'll be there.
What?
I'm your wife.
We've got no secrets, have we?
No, no, of course not. It's just that...
well, it's strictly a one-to-one.
It's not that I don't want you there, it's just that...
well, when I made the appointment that's what they said.
- "No partners." - What?
I'm sorry, love. It's their rules, not mine.
Well, what's wrong?
Like I said, no secrets.
There aren't any.
How come you didn't tell me that you were going to escort Buxton on her weekend out?
Because it's not gonna happen. That's why.
Like I said, how come she thinks the wing governor is on escort duty?
Oh, for Christ's sake, Di, this is why. 'Cause she knew it was gonna wind you up.
I'd have thought you were bloody clever enough to see through her.
And you're worried about my stress levels.
- Tine says she wants hers done then. - Cut and colour?
(WOMEN CHATTERING)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Steve? Yeah, it's me, Arun.
No, I'm not all right. I still can't find them.
Haven't I?
How long have I got?
I mean, before...
Oh, Jesus.
When can you get me some?
NEWS PRESENTER: ...where officers are waiting to receive Laura...
Two weeks?
REPORTER: The savage murder of disabled 52-year-old Elizabeth Canning
has sent shockwaves through not just the local community but the entire country.
(WOMEN MURMURING)
As you can see, an angry crowd has gathered here...
(CROWD JEERING ON TV)
Bloody hell, Ju, look.
...awaiting trial for murder.
It can't be. She can't be shutting her up in here with us.
Oh, come on, move it.
Miss, what is she doing in here with us?
She should be on the seg wing with the other evil bastards.
SYLVIA: Shut it, Buxton.
Take her to her cell.
Come on.
God, she's an evil looking mare.
And you go back to watching the telly.
Born evil, that one.
No one's born evil.
Tell that to her poor mother and her sister. God alone knows what she's done with her.
I don't think she's gonna survive in here. She seems closed off from everyone.
She's closed off from everyone
because she doesn't want the police to find her poor sister's body.
All right?
What do you want?
Just come to say hello. Everyone's seen you on the telly.
Why'd you do it?
(SHOUTING) Are you deaf or stupid?
You don't look like no maniac to me.
So listen up, Laura. This is how it works.
You're on remand, so you get more spends than us.
WOMAN (ECHOING): Nobody gives a shit about your little life.
Even your own mum hates you.
You were an accident. A sad little mistake.
Got it?
Yeah.
Eh?
Yeah, fine, anything.
Good.
You can look, if you like.
I don't have to ask.
I just take.
Fair enough.
Jesus!
- Do you like them? - Look...
I'm just doing what the top dog wants, all right?
Here, how come I'm still doing everything round here?
And it's flaming thirsty work.
You've been filling that Denise from D-Wing full of cakes all week.
How come I ain't seen any of the voddie you promised?
No, no, don't worry, Tina.
We are hoping to get hold of a miniature this very evening.
Well, you better had, else I'm going on strike.
Add a little bleach.
You know, I'm not sure about this, Ju.
I mean, what happens when she... well, you know...
Whatever happens, this is payback.
Don't worry, this is down to me. I'll take what's coming to me.
What have I got to lose?
- No, I can't let you do it. - Ju.
Not on your own. If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it together.
I come for me hairdo.
Oh, well, we're all ready for you.
Yeah, just sit yourself down.
You better have done your homework like you say.
Oh, we have. We have.
- Psst. - Oh!
I thought I'd missed you.
Always glad to help out a fellow inmate.
I was hoping you might be able to alleviate some of my misery in return.
Here. But listen,
it's getting very confusing in the screws' bar.
I'm starting to lose track of what's been watered down and what's not.
Well, don't worry. Most of the screws are just topping up from the night before.
They'll never notice.
All the same.
If anyone finds out, they'll have my tits for sarnies.
What I'm saying is this,
I can do more with these cakes than just eat them.
They can make me a nice bit on the side, too.
Now, hang on a moment.
No, you listen to me.
I'm the one risking my red band here.
Either you get hold of more cakes...
or everything's off.
Mr Fenner.
This should only take 20 minutes. Hop on.
I hope you've warmed your hands up.
Just a little prick.
I hope they make sure they've locked that Canning up tonight.
I ain't gonna sleep a wink, I'm telling you.
Yeah, well, she's probably as scared of this place as you are of her.
Yeah, well, I wouldn't bet on it, Tine. You want to see that scrapbook of hers.
It's like something out of Silence of the Lambs.
That's enough. It's only payment for the hired help, after all.
Ah, yes, well, we don't want a drunk drawing attention to herself, do we?
I'm more concerned about our supplier getting greedy.
You are really going to have to pull the stops out tomorrow.
Yes, well, as long as that's all I've got to get out.
I mean, you've got the best job.
Maybe next time you can play the candy on the stick.
We'll see.
(WOMEN CHEERING AND WHISTLING)
Well? What do you think?
It's Tina Turner on stilts.
What? How you mean? You no like it?
No, mate, it's stunning.
That's right. Ms Stunning.
And I'm so pleased I'm going to pay you two double.
£4. How about that?
- Cheers. - Cheers.
JANINE: (CALLING OUT) Do you want us to sing you a lullaby? 'Cause mummy can't, can she?
DARLENE: Watch out, you mama murderer. Devil have you.
WOMAN: (ECHOING) We all hate you. Me and Mum.
I wish you'd just die. You're a dirty shitbag.
What are you, bitch?
LAURA: A dirty shitbag.
You're a dirty shit...
You're a dirty, shitty...
(SCREAMING)
Jim, what's the matter?
Um...
it's a cramp.
Jesus.
Ow.
(DARLENE SCREAMING)
DARLENE: (YELLING) Julies, you hear me? I'm gonna rip you tit from tit!
I'll tear you apart your ass. I'll mess you up!
Is it still hurting?
It's beginning to ease up a bit now.
I've got some stuff I could rub in, if you like.
No, no, no, thanks. I'll be fine.
I'm sorry.
Am I being too pushy?
Look, the psychiatrist said we gotta take it easy, remember?
I've been through a hell of a trauma.
That's why I wanna hold you.
But you keep on pushing me away.
Because we both know where it will lead.
Look, it's not that I don't want to, Di. It's just that I... I'm not up to it yet.
And I can't face disappointing you.
- You do want kids with me, don't you, Jim? - Yeah.
Hey.
What are you doing under there?
Trying to get away from the voices.
Voices?
What do you mean, the night calls? Are they giving you a hard time?
Don't worry, they'll settle down.
You come to me if you get any problems.
People don't listen.
Well, I will. My job.
They never have.
Even when they're supposed to.
Was that what happened with your mum?
She wouldn't listen?
She didn't, did she?
That's why you did what you did.
I'd like to try to help you, Laura.
What was it you were trying to tell her?
Doesn't matter now.
Was someone hurting you, Laura?
- They all were. - Who?
I told you. Everyone.
Were you being bullied, Laura? Is that what was happening?
I want to get you out of this place, Laura.
I think you should be somewhere people can help you.
But I need you to tell me what happened.
It's like it was always going on,
as far as I can remember.
One kid picked on me
and all the others thought they could too.
And I was too scared to fight them back.
I thought that Emily would do that for me.
But she didn't.
She joined in.
My own sister.
Hey, Laura, Laura, it's all right. It's all right. It's all right.
My mum didn't believe that it was happening.
And she didn't believe that Emily was hurting you.
Emily was her favourite.
Where is Emily?
A place.
Why won't you tell the police?
Because then they'll find her.
Why don't you want them to find her?
Someone will, someday.
Yeah, but not yet.
She's alive,
isn't she?
Help me!
Someone!
Help me.
Morning, Julies.
- Morning, miss. - Morning, miss.
Come out of the way.
What I told you? You're dead meat!
- Get off me! - Stop, Darlene!
What you done to me blonde hair?
- Let her go! - Ow, my hair!
Please, Laura. Why won't you tell me where she is?
If Emily's alive, you have to help her.
No.
They destroyed my life.
They will, if you let them.
Do you wanna be bullied for the rest of your life?
If you let Emily die,
you'll never get over what they did to you and what that made you do.
Oi! Oi!
- What's the problem? - What?
The shine from me bald head not blind you?
Nice.
What are you talking about, girl? You taking the piss?
I grant you, it's a bit unusual.
But let's face it. No one's going to mess with you.
Looks badass.
- What the boomba you mean? - Enough!
Anytime you need a hand, Mrs Fenner, you just let me know.
Oh,
and make sure you tell the old man that I helped you.
Maybe he'll take me on another day out.
I'm telling you, she's as good as admitted it. Emily is still alive.
She's probably suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress.
What she needs is specialist care.
Since when did you qualify as a psychiatrist, then, eh?
I seen it before in my last prison.
That hardly makes you an expert.
Oh, and you are? Have you ever seen it?
Hang on. Malcolm saw me after Dockley tried to gut me with a broken bottle,
so I think I know something about it,
and you don't get Post-Traumatic Stress from getting called names.
This was systematic, unrelenting abuse over years and years.
That's what she told you.
For Christ's sake, Emily's life's at stake.
If we get Laura professional help, she might tell us where her sister is.
She's clever. She's playing with you.
Malcolm's right. She's making fools of all of us.
And you're letting her.
Go on. I've got nothing more to say to you.
I haven't finished yet.
Now, I know I'm no psychiatrist and you bloody well aren't one either.
From what I've heard, you're not much of a bloody doctor, come to that.
That's outrageous.
Listen...
because if you don't
and her sister dies because of it,
you'll be in deep, deep shit, Doctor.
Hello. You must be Frank.
That's right.
Who are you?
I'm Phylly, a friend of Bev's.
Oh, her.
The thing about Bev is
she's been in here too long, Frank, she's become...
a bit confused, if you know what I mean.
Oh, I see.
Got a taste for munching the rug, has she?
I thought so.
You're not so confused, I hope?
Got a sweet tooth, have you?
I reckon I've got just what you're looking for.
Allow me.
Oh, sir.
Did Mrs Fenner tell you that I helped her out with a bit of bother earlier?
She said something, yeah.
So if I keep on making myself useful, does that mean I get more time outside?
You are joking, aren't you?
I'm having a tough enough job as it is swinging this one.
We had a deal and you'd better not let me down.
And you'd just better remember who's running this place.
Parmar.
How are you settling in?
- I think I'm getting the hang of things. - Good, good.
Well, I reckon your induction's well overdue. Do you want to come up to my office?
I've been talking to the prison doctor,
and he's prepared to get you moved out of here to somewhere where they can help you.
You mean a nuthouse?
No, but somewhere where you'll be looked after, not just locked away.
You need help, Laura. Don't you want that?
Listen to me, Laura,
I know you're not evil. You got pushed over the edge.
That's what made you do what you did.
It wasn't your fault.
You can't block it out. I know. Believe me.
What do you know?
Look, I've got no business
trying to make you do anything you don't want to.
I see that now. I'm sorry, I...
It wasn't Emily I was trying to save.
It wasn't even you.
What are you talking about?
What you said about Emily showing off to the others...
that was me.
You?
I got bullied when I was a kid.
And I worked out the best way of stopping it was by picking on some other poor little sod,
impressing the bastard that was dishing it out to me.
I made that little kid's life a misery.
I made it hell, just so they'd leave me alone.
So you thought you could make up for it through me.
You see...
the kid I bullied wasn't as clever as me.
He didn't see a way out.
So one day after school...
he walked onto the tracks
in front of the 4:30 out of Paddington.
He was 12.
If I'd have known what I was doing, I would have stopped.
Maybe if Emily had known, she'd have stopped, too.
Maybe she's the victim as well.
I'd have saved that kid if I could have.
You can still save Emily, Laura,
and yourself.
There are plenty of classes in Larkhall,
and I want you to look upon your time in here as, um,
an opportunity rather than a punishment.
Yes, I'll try to.
And while you're here, I want you to know
that I shall always have your best interests at heart.
My door will always be open to you.
I'll remember that.
I like to think that G-Wing runs like clockwork.
It's better for everybody.
But one dodgy cog...
can throw the whole works out. Take...
Buxton, for instance.
Natalie Buxton.
Well, she might think she runs things down there, but I'm telling you, Arun,
there's only one person pulls the strings on G-Wing and that's me.
So why not do something about her, then?
Well, if I'm going to crack her, I'm going to need some help.
No way.
I mean, I want to be cooperative, Mr Fenner, but...
Look.
I can't look after you
unless you're willing to give me something back in return.
- I'll bear it in mind. - Good.
I always look after my girls.
You really must be losing your edge, Bev.
Anyway, I have done my bit,
now you can handle Denise la Doughnut.
Now, that would be my pleasure.
Oi.
So what were you up to earlier with Mr Fenner?
I was having my induction.
And do you know what?
I reckon I've got him eating out of my hand.
Miss.
I want to see Mr Hedges.
I realise this might be jumping the gun a little,
but you don't mind me moving in, do you?
But if you're at all concerned
about what other people might say, then...
On the contrary, I'm looking forward to it.
If they want to talk, give them something juicy to chew on.
That's what I say.
Good show. After all,
at our age we're hardly likely to get up to anything disgraceful, are we?
Well, you drop me off
and while you're picking up your bag, I'll warm something up for you,
and we'll see where we go from there, shall we?
Oi, where's the headcase going?
You taking her to the funny farm, sir?
Loony.
Just ignore them, Laura. Stay with me, all right?
I'm not going with them.
I don't trust them. I'll go with you, but I'm not going with them.
It's all right, Laura. I'll be with you.
- No, please, don't. - I have to.
No, Emily and the others, they...
they locked me up. Please don't.
I won't run. You know I won't run.
All right, Laura. I trust you.
Come on.
Malcolm, come in.
Mmm, something smells good.
Oh, thank you. It's called Moonlight Roses.
No, I meant the cooking.
Oh, yes, of course. Lamb casserole. Won't be long.
I brought something to help the night along.
You're trying to get me tipsy.
- There's one already open. - Right.
So, if you're staying here, what's going to happen to your house?
Well, funny enough, there's an old friend just come back to London,
and he's looking for somewhere to rent.
Oh, what a good idea.
Place like yours could fetch a big rental.
I dare say that sort of money could pay for a couple of very nice cruises for us.
Well...
of course.
To us
and tonight.
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
Is this it, Laura?
Will you show us where Emily is?
Please, Laura.
You know,
it's such a shame that you don't dance.
My Bobby used to say that dancing was like making love in public.
Did he really?
And there's a dance for every possible way of doing it, too.
Good heavens.
Well, there's the rumba.
That's for nights of sensual passion.
Then there's the samba.
That's for hot cricket in the afternoon.
Then there's the Pasa Doble.
That's mostly foreplay, of course.
And then there's the jive.
That's a fumble on the backseat.
Of course, there's always the waltz.
Hm, well, if you like the missionary position.
But my favourite has always been the tango.
Tango.
# Take me now and take no prisoners #
(SCATTING TANGO MELODY)
It's all right, love. You're safe.
You psycho bitch!
You just left me here to rot.
I could have died in here.
You fucking bitch!
Just 'cause she never loved you. I'm gonna kill you for this, you dirty shitbag!
She knew what you were. You're sick, you bitch!
I hope you rot in hell!
- I'm sorry. - Laura, no.
She came here to save your life.
After everything you did to her.
After what you turned her into.
She came here to save you.
"I thought you should know that I'm having an affair with your husband."
(NATALIE CHUCKLING)
"Yours, Natalie Buxton."
It's the will. There are a couple of clauses I think you should look at.
FENNER: Well, surprise, surprise. Someone's lifted a pair of scissors from the salon.
If you lot had been doing your job properly...
Sir, we found them.
- Oi, Nunny. - Can I help you?